Friday, February 14, 2014

Love and Respect In the Family, Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs

I am a huge fan of the Love and Respect books written by Eggerichs, so when I heard about this one I was so excited that it was up for review. As a Pastor's wife I am always looking for new resources that I will be able to share with members of the church. I got this book on a Monday and had a member of our church approach me that Wednesday night and ask if I had any resources to recommend for them - they had a child that they were having some trouble with. Well - I handed her this book. In two days time I had sat down and devoured the easy to read book and filled up a notebook of applicable stuff for my family that includes 6 children from the ages of 4 months to 13 years old. As always this author does an excellent job of writing in a way that is easy to read and even enjoyable. Much nicer was the fact the book is filled from front to back with things that are easy to put into practice with any family situation. The basic thought is that there is a mutual need for respect and love. A child needs to feel loved and a parent desires to feel that the child respects them. The challenge lies in the fact that we, as parents, often feel as if we are not being respected and in turn act out of this feeling of being disrespected. This creates a family cycle of the child feeling unloved and the parent feeling disrespected and both acting out in negative ways because of their feelings. I had to re-evaluate some things in my own life and ask myself - "Is my child being deliberately disrespectful or is my child acting out in a childish way that causes me to feel disrespected?". One such instance is that my loveseat is located on the wall outside of my middle son's bedroom. Every time he goes to his room he runs through the room and catapults off the couch into his bedroom door - EVERY TIME! So, at least 3 times a day I say "DO NOT use the couch that way!". By the end of the day I am ready to scream because I feel that he is deliberately being disrespectful. After reading this book I looked at that differently and thought I would do an experiment. So - he took of running and jumped on one cushion catapulting himself over the arm rest into his door. Calming I walked in there and put my hand on his shoulder "Son, why do you jump on the couch that way when you know it upsets me?" - Surprised that he was not in trouble he sheepishly said, "I don't mean to, it's just so much fun....I try to remember not to". he was not trying to drive my blood pressure up - it was just the boy in him. I would certainly recommend this book to all parents. I am sure we could all glean something from this well-written parenting book. Especially if you enjoyed the other books by this author. Thanks to the publisher for this review copy.

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